I, Deku
by jyscreenplay
Summary: My name is Deku, I'm 23 years old, and I am the Number One Hero. I live with my partner, friend, rival, whatever, Katsuki Bakugou. I've always known he'd be the death of me. (Warning: minor use of vulgarities, aged up characters but no smut, some graphic descriptions of violence)


**I, Deku**

My name is Deku, I'm 23 years old, and I am the Number One Hero.

I live with my partner, friend, rival, whatever, Katsuki Bakugou.

I've always known he'd be the death of me.

* * *

**_April 25__th_**

"Beep—beep—"

Deku felt his senses coming back to him after being unconscious for what felt like an eternity.

"Beep—beep—"

There was an unfamiliar smell of rust and heavy machinery around him, but it didn't smell dirty. It didn't smell safe either.

Deku's Pro Hero instincts kicked in. This was definitely the doing of villains, likely strong ones too to get the jump on him. He had a strong feeling that he was being watched. If luck was on his side, whoever was monitoring him should still be unaware that he was awake. He could use this time and opportunity to gather information and make up a plan.

Deku put all his focus into his hearing first. There was nothing besides the continuous beep of the machine which was holding his limbs down tightly.

There was a bitter taste of almond in his mouth. The taste was faint but definitely there, and not the remnants of food.

Must be chloroform. Deku thought, wondering how the hell did he let his guard down so much that he was drugged.

Slight panic set in as Deku tried activating Full Cowl with One For All, but to no avail. Breathing steadily to calm his racing heart, Deku attempted to activate each one of his quirks, but none of them worked.

Eyes still tightly shut, Deku's mind started racing a mile a minute. Just breathe now, it's probably the machine holding him down causing this. And if whoever captured him is didn't kill him on the spot but chose to keep his quirks under control, it probably meant they intended on having him alive but helpless rather than dead.

Still breathing calmly, Deku focused on remembering any villains that he dealt with in the past months and might have pissed off enough for them to get personal revenge. The League of Villains came to mind.

A specific member of the League, actually.

Deku snapped his eyes open, glaring daggers at the grinning feature in front of him.

"Himiko Toga."

* * *

_Two Months Earlier_

**_February 20__th_**

"Beep—beep—"

Deku woke up to the familiar smell of hospital sheets and disinfectant.

"Ugh, not again… I wonder what happened this time." He thought to himself as he cracked open his eyes with a groan.

"You're awake." A familiar voice sounded in his left ear, "About fucking time."

Deku turned his head in the direction of the voice, to see Bakugou sitting cross-legged on a foldable chair next to his bed.

"Oomph, hi Kacchan…" Deku sluggishly said, "What happened?"

"It's fucking Katsuki to you. And you were a fucking idiot, lost a fight to that blood-sucking chick in the League, but she's in Tartarus, or some fucking psych ward now." Bakugou gestured to Deku's bandaged right hand. "You passed out from a little cut, pathetic."

"Yeah." Deku said, his voice dry, he thickly swallowed and asked, "Are you okay, Kacc-Katsuki?"

"Piss off, Deku. I'm fucking peachy." Bakugou said, standing up with a grunt, he reached for the door before saying, "I'll be home cooking, get yourself discharged after those losers outside are done coaxing you."

Sure enough, Uraraka, Iida, Asui and a bunch of others burst in the room as if on command, surrounding Deku worriedly, but there was something else written on their faces other than worry, Deku couldn't tell what it was, but he didn't pry.

From behind, Bakugou locked eyes with Deku for a second before tearing away his gaze and leaving with a grunt.

"Deku-kun," Uraraka's voice snapped him back into focus, "How are you feeling?" Her voice was weirdly shaky as she shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm alright." Deku answered, trying his best to sound cheerful about being in the hospital for what is probably the second time that month. But why was everyone so uptight and careful about something? Deku couldn't help but feel a little nervous as well.

"Hey, Midoriya," Kirishima spoke up from behind the girls, "I don't know if it's self-righteous of me to say this, but if you need someone to talk to—"

Deku suddenly jumped up into a sitting position, startling everyone.

"Hey, I didn't mean to—" Kirishima reached out a hand to him.

A sharp "slap" sounded in the small white room. Then there was complete silence, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife.

Deku had slapped Kirishima's hand away, hard.

"Deku-kun…"

"Shut up." Deku's voice was cold, not at all himself. But for some reason, he didn't hate it.

No one said a word as Deku removed the IV in his arm for replenishing fluids with more force than needed and slapping back on the Band-Aid that kept the IV in place previously.

"I'm going home. Katsuki will be mad if I'm not back by dinnertime."

Deku felt the burning stare of a dozen pairs of eyes on his back as he stepped out of the door, not looking back.

* * *

**_March 3__rd_**

"Do you know why you're here, Mr. Midoriya?"

Deku, who had kept his gaze on his lap and his attention on the buzzing noise of the air-conditioning for the past several minutes, looked up. He didn't really even remember coming into wherever he was, but one look at the gentle and professional smile of the woman in her mid-thirties sitting in front of him helped him realise he was in a shrink's office, thanks to past experiences.

"Please, call me Deku."

"All right, Mr. Deku. Now I can tell you're not exactly pleased about being here. But Ms. Uravity referred you to me for a reason. And regardless of whether or not you, Mr. Number One, think you need my help, I believe I am responsible of doing the job given to me here. And your cooperation would make it more beneficial to you, and much easier for the both of us, won't you agree, Mr. Deku?"

Deku remained silent, hoping that the shrink would lose patience faster than he would. She did not.

With a sigh, Deku began monotonously,

"I've been having some trouble with work-life balance. Tough being Number One and all."

The psychiatrist cut him off, "That's not what you're really here for, is it, Mr. Deku? So tell me, what's really on your mind. What are you holding back from me? Because I can't help you if you're not honest with me."

Deku remained silent once again. Fuck Uraraka, he repeated in his head, trying to give his brain something else to focus on instead of the building tension in the room.

With a sigh, the shrink stood up gently, walked around her desk and in front of Deku, passing him her business card with neatly manicured fingers into his scarred and calloused ones.

"You have good friends, Mr. Midoriya. Ms. Uravity wouldn't have opened my door to you if she didn't care about you enough to realise you need help."

Hands already on the doorknob, Deku turned around sharply to face the shrink, taking note of her facial features for the first time since he stepped in the room.

"It's Deku, and feel free to shut that door now, I've had enough of this bullshit." He said coldly, his voice laced with venom that was foreign to him.

Slamming the door behind his back did nothing to soothe the annoying dread swimming inside his stomach.

"Took you long enough. Finally, you decided to grow a pair, huh nerd?"

Deku turned to see Bakugou Katsuki. Bakugou got on both his feet from lazily leaning on the adjacent wall of the shrink's office.

"Shut up Katsuki. I'm not coming back here."

Bakugou walked behind Deku towards the building exit as he continued talking in an annoyingly nonchalant voice.

"Well I'm glad for you. She wasn't good for you anyway. What kind of Number One Hero needs a fucking shrink?"

Deku stays silent and kept walking.

Suddenly he stopped.

"Katsuki, I said shut up."

* * *

**_March 27__th_**

Kirishima comes into the agency with a face full of bruises, and no one questioned him. No one but Deku. But Kirishima didn't seem too eager to share his story either.

"Midoriya, we all have our issues. Maybe you should get your own problems sorted out before worrying about others."

Come to think of it, everyone has been treating him differently for the past month or so. Talking in hushed whispers when he came in the agency every day, staring at him uncomfortably when they thought he wasn't looking. Acting all weird and… suspicious. What the hell was going on?

Well fuck it.

* * *

**_April 18__th_**

"Deku, phone's ringing!"

"You get it, Katsuki, you're closer to it!"

"Fuck you nerd, I'm busy!"

With a sigh, Deku got up from the couch and reached for the home phone next door in the bedroom.

"Hello? Deku speaking."

"Hey Deku-kun. It's Uraraka."

Damn, what does she want now? Deku thought, unpleasant memories of her forcing him to visit a psychiatrist and constantly looking at him at work like he was some fragile china doll came to his mind.

"Umm, Deku-kun, I know you probably don't want to talk to me or anyone for that matter right now. And you have good reason to, of course!" Uraraka seemed to nervously add that last part on purpose.

"But we were wondering whether you want to come with us… tomorrow… to…"

But Uraraka's hesitant voice was cut short when Bakugou hung up the phone for Deku.

"The hell, Katsuki? I was having a conversation there!"

"You should try to stay away from those friends of yours if you want to keep your life on an even keel."

"What?"

"What I mean is, those you consider 'friends' might not have as good intentions as you think they do. Haven't you noticed anything off about them recently? Don't they seem unnaturally nervous all the time? Maybe society hasn't noticed a thing, but it's pretty obvious that something is changing around us, the Heroes know something that you don't, and you're still acting like everything's under your control."

Bakugou paused for a moment before continuing in a softer tone,

"Tables are turning, Deku, you might soon find yourself on the wrong side of it if you don't get out of your goddamn head."

* * *

**_April 19__th_**

"Why today?" Deku heard Bakugou grumble as they trudged along the muddy grass to the graveyard. Bakugou muttered a "fuck" under his breath as his black umbrella caught a tree branch and splashed tiny droplets of water on his face.

Deku didn't answer, he kept his own umbrella low enough to cover his face. He wasn't crying, but somehow, he felt the need to hold back tears that weren't there.

They arrived at a tombstone at the far west of the public cemetery. There were heaps of flowers covering the stone, some still fresh while others are already wilting despite the rain. The grass around the stone was especially bare compared to other stones, probably from being trudged by hundreds of feet every day.

All Might was buried here.

Deku took a shuddering breath as he knelt down, placing a bouquet of white carnations by the stone. The wet mud seeped through his trousers, but he was in no mood to care.

Bakugou silently placed a single red carnation beside the white ones as he remained standing.

"Katsuki." Deku spoke, voice slightly cracking as he looked up at Bakugou with glossy eyes.

"What?"

"It's okay to mourn you know. I know it's been two years, and you are just as upset about All Might as I am, if not more—"

"Shut up, Deku." Bakugou's voice remained unwavering, but his face twitched just enough for Deku to notice. Bakugou then muttered under his breath,

"You're not one to talk."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Deku stood up, suddenly defensive.

Bakugou said nothing. He was staring at something else in the distance.

Deku followed his gaze, noticing a group of at least two dozen people gathering around another tombstone around a hundred metres away from them. Their faces were not visible, but it must've been someone pretty important for so many people to gather together.

"We're leaving." Bakugou said shortly, "It's not good to dwell in the past. Those who do are just idiots."

"You can't just say stuff like that, Katsuki!" Deku bit back, slightly angry, "Everyone has a right to mourn when they need to!"

"Fine. Stay as long as you want. I'm leaving." Bakugou turned and walked off, leaving Deku staring at his back.

Deku stayed for another hour. When he was ready to leave, he felt something tug at the inside of his jacket. Curious, Deku reached inside to find a pink carnation.

The flower was slightly ruffled from being squashed inside his jacket for so long, but the colour was still vibrant. Deku didn't remember putting it there before leaving in the morning.

He shook his head, probably just a memory lapse.

Then he spun around, maybe it was Katsuki who put…

But Bakugou was nowhere in sight.

"Guess Katsuki meant it what he said he won't wait for me, huh. I'll just have to leave by myself and ask him when I get home." Deku thought to himself, stuffing the flower back in his jacket.

Strangely, when Deku got home, the pink carnation seemed to have dropped out somewhere along the way, and Bakugou insisted he had no idea what Deku was talking about.

* * *

**_April 20__th_**

Deku is alone, in the middle of nowhere. He looks around, struggling to find any indication as to where he is.

Then suddenly, he is everywhere.

He is back in UA, back at the USJ to be precise. A shrill scream makes him whip his head around, only to see EraserHead getting his face bashed into the ground over and over again in front of his eyes.

He couldn't move a muscle.

Then everything changes, and he is standing at the centre of a destroyed city.

Kamino.

In the distance, All Might struggles to fight off All for One. Deku sees All Might's arm crumble under the pressure of the punches, but again, he couldn't do anything but watch.

Then he's somewhere different, somewhere new.

He doesn't recognise this place at all, but then he hears a familiar voice.

"Deku you bastard! Just what the hell do you think you are doing huh?"

"Kacchan!" Deku yells without thinking, spinning around only to see Bakugou's terrified expression.

"Get out of the way, Deku!" A hand roughly shoves him to the side.

Deku grunts as he gets up and dusts himself off, "What the hell, Kacchan? Why did you—"

His words catch in his throat as he takes in what is in front of him.

Bakugou is standing a few feet away from Deku, his blazing red eyes glaring straight at him. But in his stomach, there is a knife, dripping with fresh blood.

"How—No—no—Kacchan!" Deku's eyes are filled with tears.

Useless.

Deku rushes to Bakugou's side, eyes staring at the knife in horror, but hands not helping.

Do something, you idiot!

Before he realises it, Deku finds himself being enveloped into a bone-crushing hug.

"No, wait Kacchan, don't—"

Deku is cut off by white-hot pain in his own stomach. He breaks away from the hug with a gasp, looking down, the knife is now sticking out of his own body.

He looks up in confusion, only to see Himiko Toga grinning back at him.

"You're so much prettier covered in blood, Izu-kun!"

What? But how—

"This is all your fault, Deku." Deku spins around to see Bakugou standing beside All Might. Both of them covered from head to toe with thick crimson, but both looking very much alive.

"All Might is dead because of you, Deku. And I'll die because of you as well if you don't stop being a fucking moron."

"Why didn't you save me?" A smaller voice calls from somewhere closer to the ground.

Deku gasps as he sees Kota, his limbs completely torn off of his tiny body, too much of a gruesome sight to bear.

"But I did… I did save you Kota. At least, I tried to, didn't I?" Deku's voice cracks with pain.

"Deku-san…" Another voice, this time it's Eri.

"You promised me you'd come for me… why didn't you come, Deku-san?"

"No… please, I did… I did come for you, Eri-chan… You're safe now, aren't you?"

Eri says nothing as she lifts up her sleeves.

Deku almost vomits at the sight of chunks of flesh missing from the child's scarred arms.

He forces himself to look up at Eri's face only to see Overhaul's mask covering it instead.

Eri's eyes are a hateful red now,

"You will pay, Deku-san, you broke your promise."

"Yo, nerd!" Bakugou's voice again, Deku turns to face him as everyone else around him seems to fade away.

"Clock's still ticking," Bakugou says flatly, his face and body now devoid of any traces of blood, as if nothing has happened, "I'm out of time. You need to hurry, Deku."

"Hurry what?" Deku desperately shakes Bakugou by the shoulders, "Hurry and do what, Kacchan?! Tell me! Tell me so I can fix all this, please!"

"Look around you, Izuku." Deku twitches at the name he hadn't heard for so long, "nothing is real around you. Nothing. I'm just a figment of your imagination, nerd. Where're all the people you didn't save? They never even existed. Neither did I." Bakugou seems to fade away with those words being said.

"No! Wait, Kacchan!" Deku yells, hands reaching out but grabbing at nothing, "I don't understand! What do you mean nothing is real? You're real, they're all real! Wait!"

But he's out of time.

Deku woke up with a gasp, drenched head to toe in cold sweat.

"Wha—" Deku looked around madly, "Kacchan!"

"Stop your yelling, nerd. You're gonna wake up half the building" Bakugou's voice came from the armchair in the far-left corner of the bedroom, his phone screen illuminating his face.

"You're okay… you're all okay, it's just a dream…" Deku stuttered, relief washing over him.

"Hmph, whatever. Go back to sleep. You still have work tomorrow."

Deku was silent for a moment, then he asked,

"Why are you up, Kacc-Katsuki?"

"Why do you think? Your thrashing and screaming woke me up, idiot." Bakugou sighed, turning off his phone screen as the room was enveloped in complete darkness again. He got inside the covers before brushing Deku's hair away from his eyes.

"It's alright. I'm here, nerd."

…

"Happy birthday, Katsuki."

Bakugou hugged Deku's body closer to his.

"Go back to sleep, Deku."

* * *

_**April 25**_**_th_**

"Where are you going?"

Deku stopped in his tracks, one arm through his maroon jacket, the other hand already on the doorknob. He didn't turn around to face Bakugou.

"The agency called, told me to go interrogate Himiko Toga from the League. They think I can get some information out of her, after our fight."

Bakugou scoffed, "Yeah right. That's why they need you."

"What do you mean? It makes perfect sense, and why would they lie? You're too damn paranoid." Deku looked at Bakugou out of the corner of his eye.

Bakugou sat down on the couch, brushing dust from it,

"Just don't go, Deku."

Deku walked away from the door and up to Bakugou.

"Not unless you tell me why."

Bakugou sighed, "Because it'll be the end of you as the Number One Hero, Deku."

Deku shook his head, reaching for the doorknob again,

"I'll see you later, Katsuki."

"…See you later, Izuku."

"It's Deku to you, Katsuki."

"Right."

* * *

The last thing Deku remember was standing in front of the gates of Tartarus Prison, where the most dangerous villains are kept. He was being greeted by Uravity, as well as detective Tsukauchi, both wearing solemn looks on their faces. Then everything went wrong.

And there he was. Limbs tied up by an annoying machine, his quirks useless, surrounded by a dozen infrared security cameras and Toga, who was supposed to be in prison, grinning at him like the psychopath she was.

"I see you're awake, Izu-kun!" Toga's cheerful voice didn't match her surroundings at all.

"Himiko Toga…" Deku breathed out, hating how his words still sound slurred, although his mind was fully conscious. He tried to make up for the vulnerability in his voice by glaring at his capturer.

"That's right! So glad we get to see each other again, in this way no less!" Toga giggled, her yellow eyes now slits, like a python ready to strike at its prey after it's done toying with it.

"The hell do you want from me? And where's the rest of your little League?" Deku sneered, his voice almost unrecognisable to himself, Katsuki must've rubbed off on me, he idly thought.

"Oooh such a temper you've picked up since the last time we met!" Toga's high-pitched squeals were really starting to annoy Deku.

"You have five more minutes, Toga Himiko, hurry up with what you need to say or we'll bring you back to your cell immediately." An electronic voice boomed from a speaker on Toga's side of the glass.

Cell? But wasn't he the one in a cell? Deku's brain raced for an answer. Unless…

"Aww such a bummer, really hoped we could catch up more, Izuku-kun! But here's what I was made to tell you: You're in Tartarus Prison, and so am I. Three months ago, you and Katsuki Bakugou fought me and some other friends in the League in Musutafu and you ended up killing your pretty boyfriend thanks to a little trick I pulled." Toga giggled at this, seeming quite satisfied with herself, "ever since then you've been quite a wreck, Izu-kun~ So much so that you're being called 'criminally insane' with that messed up powerful mind and quirks of yours!"

Deku's eyebrows twitched at Toga's words, but his confusion was immediately replaced with anger,

"Is that the best lie you can come up with, villain? Katsuki is perfectly fine, in fact he hasn't even engaged in any Hero activity in the past two months—"

Toga sighed, cuffed hands playfully twisting her white top, "And you don't wonder why that is, Izu-kun? Face it already, sweetie, Kacchan's dead. And you're the one who killed him. You're no different from the rest of us, the ones you so spitefully call villains. At least we don't go around pretending we're heroes when we're not. Honestly, I'm only here to tell you all this to get out of my cell for a bit, it does get quite lonely inside sometimes. I'm actually hoping you never come to your senses, Izuku-kun~ Then at least I'll have a friend here to chat with!"

Deku stayed quiet, silently rebutting every single word Toga had said in his mind, waiting for an opportunity for escape, or at least alert a pro nearby.

"Ooooh you should've seen the looks on your pretty friends Ochacco's and Tsu's faces after you tried to attack them just for mentioning Kacchan~ Ooh and that hardening boy? You almost killed him if not for his quirk! If I had known you had so much potential in you, I would've asked Tomura-kun to make you join us instead of Kacchan back when you were in UA~ Ahh just mentioning Kacchan is giving me such a high~ The way he died all covered in blood makes him just soooo much prettier!"

"That's enough Toga Himiko, we're escorting you back now." The loudspeaker boomed again as two armed officers approached Toga.

"Too bad, guess I'll see you around, Izu-kun!" Toga beamed at Deku before her expression turned a 180 on the two officers. Eyes narrowed, she hissed, "Touch me and you'll regret it." The officers gave no emotional response as they ushered Toga away with batons and guns in hand.

Deku did his best to glare after Toga until she was fully out of sight. He then closed his eyes and focused on his breathing.

Breathe in.

Nothing she said was true.

Breathe out.

Nothing.

In.

This is all some twisted trick to break him psychologically, he knew it.

Out.

He's not gonna break.

Where are the Pros? Uravity, Red Riot, anyone… just get him out of this hell hole so he can kick Toga's ass for messing with him already!

"Deku-kun." Deku's eyes snapped wide open at the familiar feminine voice,

"Uravity! You're here! Quick, get me out of this freaking cell, we need to capture Toga Himiko, she's on the loose again!"

Uraraka just looked at him with a sad smile.

"Deku-kun. I'm really sorry…"

Sorry? Sorry for what? He had no time for meaningless apologies, he had a villain to defeat!

"Oh Deku… don't you get it yet? Toga's a villain, yes, but she told you the truth just now, we asked her to. It was the best way we could think of to get you to face reality again."

What? Face reality? What is this sick joke, even Uraraka is in on it? Was she brainwashed? Or worse…

All those times she quickly looked away from him when they locked eyes at work, unable to hide the guilt in her brown eyes from his green ones.

All those weird occurrences, and the strange atmosphere that's been lingering around him for the past two months.

Bakugou's words suddenly reappeared in Deku's mind,

"Tables are turning, Deku, you might soon find yourself on the wrong side of it if you don't get out of your goddamn head."

It can only mean one thing. Uraraka's a traitor. Yeah, damn right she is, how did he not notice it sooner?

"You…" Deku glared daggers at Uraraka, "You fucking traitor, and all your fucking lies. Don't even bother wasting your time, villain."

Tears brimmed in Uraraka's eyes, but she held them back as she reached for her pocket, taking out her phone.

"I didn't want to do this, Deku-kun, I know this will probably break you. But I'm sorry, this is the only solution we have left."

She pressed her phone screen against the glass, showing Deku a picture.

Deku immediately squeezed his eyes shut.

"Whatever the hell you're trying to fool me with, it's not gonna work! Give up your little mind tricks already!"

Uraraka took a deep shuddering breath.

"Midoriya! Wake up! Fucking look at the picture! No one is lying to you Izuku! No one! Just look! It's Bakugou! YOU FUCKING KILLED HIM! AND NOW YOU'RE BEING A THREAT TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU! WE DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO FUCKING DO!"

Deku opened his eyes at the nearly glass-shattering scream bursting out of Uraraka's throat, and his heart caught in his throat when he saw the picture.

There was his Katsuki, lying on the cement ground drenched in crimson blood, eyes wide open but unfocused.

There was a knife still stuck in his throat.

No no no.

All lies.

ALL LIES!

Deku's eyes burned absolute fury as he tried to stand up, only to be strapped down by the machine as all the cameras in the room turned on him at once.

"What are you trying to play at, you bitch?" He growled.

Uraraka was in hysterics, "NOTHING! Please, Deku, just face reality. You killed Katsuki Bakugou two months ago. It was an accident, you meant to kill Toga instead! Please! Just come back to us, Deku! The hero world still needs you! If you continue working against us we will have no choice but to keep you here forever, do you understand? You tried to kill Kirishima for trying to talk some sense into you! You attacked almost everyone at the agency for just mentioning Bakugou. Everyone has been giving you so many second chances for the hero you were before but we just can't anymore if you're a threat to people's lives!"

Her voice quivered before the anger died down into only sadness.

"Everyone's giving up on you, Deku-kun. The world must keep on turning, even with the loss of Kacchan and Deku. I fought to give you this one last chance, Deku. I wish I could let you just continue living in your dream world where Bakugou's still alive, I really wish I could. But you're a danger to others now, and safety of others comes first as a Pro. So please, come back to us before it's too late. You can still be Deku, you can still be Number One, for yourself and Bakugou!"

No.

No.

Lies. It's all lies…

Deku's dam was cracking, he could feel it breaking down little by little, no matter how hard he tried to keep it up.

Uraraka seemed to remember something, as she desperately reached into her handbag, digging out a crumpled and wilted flower.

A pink carnation.

"Deku, look, you got this flower for Bakugou, I know you did. that day you went to visit All Might's grave by yourself. All the others and I were visiting Bakugou's grave that day, and I saw you drop it when you were leaving. Bakugou would've loved this carnation, you know, even though he would never admit it. Pink carnations are different from the usual white and red ones, they symbolise remembrance. So please, remember. Remember what happened. Bakugou would still want you to be the best hero you can be, wouldn't he?"

Then Deku's dam broke.

* * *

**_February 19__th_**

"Kacchan! Hey! Don't run off by yourself!" Deku yelled after Bakugou's back.

They were fighting the League of Villains, who had taken a local industrial building and its CEO hostage. The place was half in ruins by the time Pros arrived on the scene.

It's been two years since the leader of the League, Tomura Shigaraki was defeated in battle.

Shigaraki's maniacal, bone-chilling laugh and declaration that "the end is near" right before he killed himself with his quirk, both hands on his throat, had quite the effect on people across Japan for weeks after the event happened.

The League survived, and its remaining members, Twice, Mr. Compress, and Himiko Toga continued to expand their army and wreak havoc across the country, despite not being as much of a threat and causing as much fear in civilians as before.

"Kacchan!"

Bakugou stopped in his tracks, his voice cold,

"What?"

"Kacchan, please cooperate with me. We can't be going backwards with our relation-no, partnership, alright?" Deku hurriedly said, "I'm sorry about what happened on Valentine's Day. I'm sorry I rushed into things, I know you still need time, and we can sort things out later at home. But can we please just let go of the whole thing for now while we're in battle? We need a strategy here."

Just five days ago on Valentine's Day, Deku had gathered up the courage to tell Bakugou the three forbidden words, "I love you." And Bakugou had reacted in the worst way possible, giving Deku the silent treatment since then and avoiding any eye contact with him.

Bakugou let out a long huff, before looking at Deku straight in the eye,

"Fine, dammit, what's the plan?"

The two decided to take on members of the League separately. Specifically, Deku on Twice, who had definitely grown over the years, now rivalling in strength against the retired Pro, Ectoplasm, in his strongest days. And Bakugou on Toga, since she apparently had the hots for Deku and there'd be less incentive for her to fight someone who wasn't her "type". Deku contacted EraserHead over the radio, telling him and his interns to take on Mr. Compress and any other newer members of the League, since Mr. Compress' quirk had always been quite a pain, but nothing an Erasure quirk can't deal with.

"Alright, now, less talk, more action." Bakugou said after hearing Deku's plan, standing up from their crouching position behind a destroyed billboard.

"Wait! Toga's quirk can be troublesome if she manages to get your blood. We need something to tell the two of you apart," Deku stood up as well, grabbing onto Bakugou's shoulder.

"Tch, like I'd let her lay a finger on me." Bakugou replied, but head turned back towards Deku. There was a sobbing civilian behind the both of them, he didn't appear injured but was obviously shocked, as he sobbing quietly, hugging his knees to his body, not looking at the two Heroes. Bakugou debated internally whether or not to help the guy to safety first.

"How about a safe word?" Deku drew his attention back to the matter at hand, "Just in case, how about 'Katsudon'?"

"Sure, whatever." Bakugou looked back at the sobbing man as the awful sound of screaming civilians in the distance rang in his ears. He can comfort that crying loser behind him later when he defeats the villain, there are more people in need of saving as well, not to mention the missing hostage, who could be in more real danger with every passing second. The optimum strategy here would be to win first, then save.

"Now, go, you idiot. You've still got a lot of talking to do when this is over."

Deku didn't waste a second more, he activated Full Cowl and Black Whip simultaneously, grabbing onto the remnants of the building and flinging himself through a broken window.

Somehow, there was a tiny warning voice in his head that made him regret splitting up with Bakugou. He shook the feeling away as he put a grin on his face as he came face to face with Twice, as well as a dozen of his clones.

Meanwhile, Bakugou took a second to look at Deku as he left in a flash, before he took a deep breath. With fingers twitching with anticipation, Bakugou spun around on his feet, just in time to react and send a blast to his right to displace himself to the left, where his head was a mere second ago now replaced by a glistening knife, digging itself into the already ruined billboard.

Locking eyes with the psychopathic blonde standing three metres away from him, Bakugou let an equally maniacal grin spread across his face.

"Let's get this over with, crazy bitch."

Everything was going perfectly, with Bakugou dodging all of Toga's predictable attacks, and inflicting enough damage on her to wear her down as soon as possible.

"Prioritise the rescue. Find the hostage first." EraserHead's voice resonated in Bakugou's head, something he and Deku were told before the fight.

Toga was visibly tired by then, her clothes tattered, and her hair an even crazier mess than normal. Her grin never left her face, however.

With a frustrated growl, Bakugou tackled Toga to the ground. With his legs trapping Toga's, one hand holding Toga's hands over her head, and the other placed threateningly around her throat, Bakugou immobilised her.

"Better tell me where you're keeping the hostage if you wanna keep your crazy face intact, bitch." Bakugou's voice was menacing yet calm.

Toga, however, started laughing hysterically, her snake-like yellow eyes fixated on Bakugou's face, as she whispered,

"No, Kacchan, it's _your_ face."

Before Bakugou had the time to react to her words, a sharp pain in the back of his left shoulder made his heart drop to the bottom of his stomach.

He spun his head around to see the real Toga sadistically sucking his blood through her mask, a thick needle buried in his shoulder. The body he was pinning down seemed to soften before it became nothing but slimy grey mush.

Damn, you careless fuck, Bakugou cursed himself internally, of course Twice would've made a copy of Toga before they even arrived.

Bakugou reacted as fast as he could, ripping the needle out of his shoulder, before yanking it backwards with his right arm as he shot off an explosion with his left, dragging Toga towards him as he kneed her hard in the stomach.

He looked at Toga, only to see his own face twisted in pain and sadistic pleasure at the same time.

Toga, now transformed and wearing Bakugou's Hero costume, her grin bigger than ever,

"Too bad no one can tell us apart now, _Kacchan_~!" She laughed as she momentarily transformed her face from Bakugou's into, which Bakugou recognised in horror, that of the crying civilian's, who seemed so innocent, sitting just behind Bakugou, listening to his and Deku's every word.

"You…" Bakugou growled as Toga transformed her face to Bakugou's once again, it was truly a very wrong expression on his own face.

No use crying over spilled milk, Bakugou's hand immediately went up to the Bluetooth in his ear as he tried to warn Deku of the situation.

"Deku, Toga kno—gahh!" Bakugou yelled in pain as a knife went flying across his face and ear, cutting past his fingers, knocking the Bluetooth clean out of his ear with a "crack" sound, which was left resonating in his now bleeding ear.

Fingers and face dripping blood, red eyes glaring at Toga, Bakugou came to the conclusion that there was only one option—to fight and win, and fast.

Toga seemed to read his thoughts as she grinned once again,

"Unfortunately for you, Kacchan, I'm well aware that I am no match for you in a head-on fight—" Bakugou didn't give her time to finish her sentence as he blasted himself forward and knocked Toga backwards with a blast to the head.

Toga's smile grew wider, as she remained on the ground, forehead burnt and bleeding, hands gripping a new knife,

"But I'm much more observant than you, Kacchan."

Bakugou was utterly shocked as he watched Toga slam the knife into her own abdomen, moaning with pain and pleasure as she did so. She then ripped the knife out roughly before tossing it to the side, gasping for breath and grinning at Bakugou, who was frozen in shock and confusion.

"Let's see who knows Izu-kun better now, shall we, Kacchan?"

As if on cue, a bolt of green light appeared from behind Bakugou, landing with a rough thud and a grunt.

Before Bakugou's mouth could catch up with his brain, which was screaming at him for him to yell the safeword, his own wavering voice came from Toga's mouth,

"Katsudon!"

Bakugou spun around, his eyes meeting Deku's, a chill ran down his spine as he was met with the most furious glare he had ever seen on Deku.

But Deku paid no attention to him, instead, Deku immediately dashed over to Toga's side, and after pinning Bakugou to the ground with Black Whip with his left arm, he started comforting Toga, his voice quivering slightly,

"It's all right now, Kacchan. You did great, I won't let Toga hurt you anymore."

Toga looked up at Deku with beary red eyes, eyebrows furrowed in pain as Deku whipped out gauze pads and bandages from his belt pockets, attempting to apply pressure to the bleeding wound.

Toga, however, pushed Deku's hand away as she struggled to sit up, gasping with both fake and real pain,

"Worry about me later, nerd! Get Toga first!" She gestured towards Bakugou, who was still pinned down.

Deku's expression twitched slightly, before he kissed Toga gently on her bloodstained cheek, handing the medical supplies over to her, and turned to face Bakugou, fury burning in his green eyes.

Bakugou shuddered again at the hateful glare,

"Really, Deku? You've known me all these years and you still don't trust who I am?" He tried.

Deku activated One For All, set one leg on Bakugou's chest, the other over his legs, as he deactivated Black Whip and grabbed hold of both of Bakugou's wrists in his own with immense strength. A small grunt of pain escaped Bakugou's lips, but Deku made no attempt to loosen his grip.

"You hurt Kacchan. You'll pay for this, Himiko Toga." Deku's voice was cold as ice.

"Deku you idiot! That's Toga over there! She transformed into a civilian and listened to our conversation, that's how she—Gahhh!" Bakugou didn't get to finish his sentence as his right wrist was twisted and crushed by Deku.

"Stop lying, villain."

Panic sets in Bakugou's eyes, Toga had taken advantage of Deku's immense desire to save people, and right now she's certainly winning.

"Deku you fucking idiot! I'm me! How the fuck can I prove it to you? Let go!"

Deku seemed slightly affected by Bakugou's choice of words and attitude as he looked back at Toga, his internal debate obvious on his face.

But Toga just coughed weakly and rasped out,

"Don't let her get away. I trust you, you damn nerd."

Upon hearing those words, Deku's emotions completely overpowered his logical thinking. With another sickening "snap" and groan of pain from Bakugou, Deku broke Bakugou's left wrist as well.

"Nice try, villain. You're good at pretending, but I'm not risking Kacchan getting hurt again, so you might as well give up and make this easier for the both of us."

Bakugou growls in pain and frustration. The pain in his wrists too distracting from his rational thinking, he let out two small explosions from his palms, just enough to distract Deku as he freed his arms.

Bakugou immediately took his chance of freedom, charging at Toga, trying to dig out knives, vials of blood, anything, to prove her identity. Toga, however, let out a moan of pain in the process, her eyes squeezed shut.

"Get the fuck away from him!" Deku screamed as he tackled Bakugou to the ground with Black Whip.

"Stop it Deku you bastard! Stop being such an idiot! Just check her for her knives, blood vials! Dammit gahhhhh!" Bakugou's in real excruciating pain now, Deku just twisted his already broken right wrist.

Toga was quick to react, she coughed and spluttered weakly,

"Deku, hurry, don't trust her. Just finish her up and call for backup, or I'm…i'm not gonna make it…"

Seeing in despair that there was no changing Deku's stubborn mind now, Bakugou reached over his left hand in hope of getting rid of Toga's fake face, but Deku was faster, he slammed Bakugou's arm to the ground with the bloodied knife Toga had left on the ground.

"Gahhh! Fuck! Deku! Deku just fucking listen to me! I'm Bakugou Katsuki and I bullied you in fucking middle school and told you to kill yourself! I know about All Might and you! You were wearing my black sweater this morning and I told you you look fucking ridiculous in it! I hate it when you call me Katsuki when you're angry! Just… use your brain Deku! Do what you do best, even when it pisses me off to no extent! I fucking love you you fucking idiot!" Bakugou was completely panicking now, spitting out whatever comes to mind.

Deku frowned, his expression unreadable.

"The real Kacchan would never love me, Toga. I don't know how you managed to find out all those things between me and Kacchan, but you're definitely not getting away with some sweet talk." Deku coldly said, his eyes fixed on Toga and the pool of blood forming underneath her.

Bakugou's mind and vision were blurry from pain and fury, he then made the wrong decision to try to prove to Deku that Toga was actually pretending to be unconscious by setting off an explosion at her.

But Toga was a better actress than Bakugou thought she was.

Toga let out a chilling scream as the explosion burnt the right side of her face, leaving a bloody mess, but she didn't transform back.

"Kacchan!" Deku screamed in worry.

"YOU BITCH!" Deku's eyes were ablaze with utmost hatred once again as he ripped out the knife from Bakugou's arm and slammed it into his stomach.

Bakugou howled in pain, his scream cut off halfway by his own blood choking him and spilling out of his mouth.

Deku's heart skipped a beat when his saw Bakugou's face contorted with pain and blood dripping down his chin.

But he shook it off and the momentary worry and hesitance in his eyes were immediately replaced by anger again.

"I told you you'll pay for what you did, Toga."

Bakugou was in too much pain to come up with a logical sentence by now.

"Deku… please… don't… I'm not lying, I'm me, please…"

"SHUT UPPPPP!" Deku screamed louder than ever before, plunging the knife into Bakugou's abdomen again, this time it pierced his right lung.

"You… you think too much you damn nerd… Please, come to your senses already… tell me what I can do to prove it to you…" Bakugou's eyelids were half closed by now, his words a hushed whisper.

Deku's hands twitched at the familiar words, but one look at Toga's unmoving body and he roared again, lifting the knife high up before bringing it down with all his might.

At the same time, Bakugou screamed in despair,

"IZUKU!"

Too late.

The knife caught Bakugou's throat this time, his scream gone in an instant, left only as an echo in Deku's mind.

Katsuki Bakugou was dead. His eyes still wide open, blood spilling out of his mouth, throat and stomach. His eyes glossed over with the slightest hint of disbelief.

Deku's hands trembled as his knees gave out from underneath him. His mind racing a mile a minute but his body completely numb.

Kacchan should be safe now, right?

So why wasn't he relieved? Why was he… scared?

Toga's voice from behind him brought him back to reality.

"Oooh my my my," Toga squealed in a sickening excited voice, "who knew you had it in you, Izu-kun?"

Deku spun around, the nightmare at the back of his mind now a complete reality as he is faced with Himiko Toga in Bakugou's hero costume.

"No…" Deku's voice was hoarse and cracking, "No, no no NO NO NO!"

Screams and sobs tore out of his throat uncontrollably as Deku clamped his hands around Bakugou's face, a mixture of sobs and cries erupting from his lungs. Deku's hands circled the knife still in Bakugou's throat, trembling uncontrollably, but he couldn't pull it out, he couldn't do anything. Bakugou was dead.

He had failed as a Hero.

And worst of all, he had failed Bakugou Katsuki.

"As amazing as it is to watch you fawn over your loss, I still have a mission to do here, Izuku, sweetie. So don't blame me for what happens next." Toga chirped as she dashed towards Deku's back.

Deku spun around, catching Toga's knife with his right hand, yanking it out with sheer force by the blade.

Toga squealed in delight at the gash dripping blood on Deku's palm, as she reached for another knife.

Deku was faster, with the cry of an infuriated wild animal he plunged the knife towards Toga's throat harder than ever before, he had nothing to lose now.

But Toga was suddenly yanked to the side by a white cloth.

EraserHead.

"Midoriya, control yourself, you're a hero, heroes don't kill." Aizawa's voice boomed in Deku's head.

Heroes don't kill.

Especially not the ones they love.

Toga was apprehended, along with Twice and Mr. Compress, nothing could stop her however, from giggling and talking excitedly about how Deku had killed Bakugou with such brutality as she was being brought away.

Deku was still frozen on the spot, his mouth ajar, but no sound came out. His eyes fixed on Bakugou's dead body, even as reporters surrounded the two, snapping heartless picture after picture. He was still staring blankly as the paramedics brought Bakugou away in a body bag.

Deku vaguely heard someone calling "Deku-kun" in the distance, but he couldn't know for sure. One moment he was falling, and the next everything was turning black.

So tired… Deku mindlessly thought, a break couldn't hurt, right?

Maybe Kacchan will be mad at me when I wake up, but I'll deal with that when the time comes…

Everything came rushing back to him.

When he woke up, he was no longer Deku.

* * *

_**April 25th**_

_"What is your name?"_

My name is Izuku Midoriya.

_"Where are you?"_

I'm in Tartarus prison, in a cell under maximum security.

_"Why are you here?"_

…

Because I killed Bakugou Katsuki.

_"Let me ask you again. Why are you here, Izuku Midoriya?"_

Because I killed Kacchan, and continued to hurt people around me. Because I'm not a Hero.

_"Are you aware of the presence and functions of the drug, Eniripsa?"_

Yes.

It cancels a person's quirks as well as memories and emotions. It has been approved for the past four years and used on highly-dangerous criminals. Eniripsa leaves its user alive, but blank, an empty shell unable to feel human.

_"Do you concur that if you, Izuku Midoriya, are unable to regain your full awareness and self-control as Pro Hero Deku as prior to February 19th, the day you killed Bakugou Katsuki, that a legal injection of this drug, Eniripsa, will be performed on you with irreversible effects?"_

I concur.

The guards outside looked at each other before nodding and turning off the video recorder, one of them stepped inside the cell to turn off the security measures and unhook Deku from the machines. Deku made no attempt to resist.

Deku stepped out of the cell, registering the numbness in his wrists and ankles from being tied down, and greeted a tearful Uraraka with a smile.

"I missed you, Ochacco-san."

Deku took the crumpled flower gently from Uraraka's hands, admiring it with care.

Uraraka cried.

The two of them hugged, neither one wanting to let go first.

Then Deku activated One For All, sending Uraraka flying against a wall, hitting the back of her head as she gasped more in shock than in pain.

Guards immediately tackled Deku to the ground, tasers at the ready.

Deku grinned, the cold glint back in his eyes,

"Sorry Uraraka, but this is how traitors like you always end up. You'll never break me, villain."

Uraraka, holding her head, looked up in fear and hopelessness at Deku.

"Deku-kun, no…"

Deku turned his face away from Uraraka, as the guards brought him away.

"It's Izuku, remember that."

As Deku disappeared from Uraraka's sight, he dropped something on the floor.

The pink carnation.

* * *

My name is Izuku Midoriya, I'm 23 years old, and I was the Number One Hero.

I had a lover. His name was Kacchan.

He was the death of me.


End file.
